Friday, August 15, 2008

Try and not dance!

Almost a year since I heard this under the stars. Thanks Martin! It makes me just as happy now as it did then!

I had a crush, nothing works out

I think I have decided that Superchunk's "Here's Where the Strings Come In" is pretty much perfection. 13 years later, the lyrics still resonate. Which makes me pathetic, but makes them amazing.

Monday, July 28, 2008

so, um, huh

I've actually posted a few videos lately, but youtube apparently vetoed them. It's been a while. or an eternity. and I can't figure out whether i should post. i have so much to say, but do i need to say it for the public? it's really all so internal. thank you all for coming. i appreciated every comment because it meant your time. if you want to check in and don't have my email, and if you know how i can easily archive this all, please let me know.

much love & glitter,

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Toothpaste Kisses

I eat toothpaste. There, I said it. And I think the one person who finds that endearing would like this song.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Text message inbox poetry strikes back

Puppies and rainbows all over Bombay
Trisha. I love you.
Ornamental cabbages were singing disco songs to you
I just saw a mummer drop his spirit stick
Fuck plastic trees

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Important life lesson

I learned this lesson the hard way. Glad to see my favorite webcomic addressing it.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Yes, I want a cookie

I've been called to explain lately what I'm doing to clear this brain cloud of late. And today, I realized I'm missing the simple answer. Rather than feeling inadequate because I've only been to the gym 4 times in the past two weeks, or because I haven't gotten to try accupuncture, I need to just say this: I'm getting up every day. I'm getting dressed every day. Most days I shower. I'm going to work when it is expected of me. I usually leave the house at least once. I still smile once or twice a day. Seems simple, right? stupid even to brag about*. But 8 years ago, this wasn't the case. The war in my brain would have stopped everything. I would have dropped out of grad school, curled up, and froze. Or I would've decide to not take sub jobs and lie about it. But no, even though I am only doing what most people manage to accomplish with the same thought they give to breathing, I realize it is a huge accomplishment for me. And I'm winning the war. That's what I'm doing to help myself.

*yes, Chris Rock might find this cause for derision. Fuck it.
"You know the worst thing about niggas? Niggas always want some credit for some shit they supposed to do. For some shit they just supposed to do: A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just does. A nigga will say some shit like, "I take care of my kids."

You're supposed to, you dumb mothafucka. What are you talkin' about? What are you braggin' about? What kind of ignorant shit is that?

"I ain't never been to jail."
What do you want, a cookie?
You're not supposed to go to jail you low expectation having mothafucka."

Saturday, March 29, 2008


I've been posting lots of amazing links lately, but not really offering any content. It's a little dark and scary to go into my brain these days. so, please enjoy the videos. and hopefully soon, I can resume my regularly scheduled insanity.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Hells Yeah!

This is old, and possibly already posted on this blog. But, damn! I love these boys! I feel justified in watching a reality show because they kicked ass!

Friday, March 21, 2008

2 years

to the day. I've been posting my random bullshit here for that long. And yet, it seems like worlds ago. I miss lots of things. But that's a longer post and I'm just looking for a datestamp.

Monday, March 17, 2008

you know, like in Spongebob

Happy Patrick's Day everybody. Or Miss Patrick's Day. Depending on your 5 year old.

A Wish for a Friend
Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I now teach kindergarten

it looks a lot like this.

I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

but I'm hoping someone will tell me. Maybe the universe is. I had this song in my head on Saturday. Not sure where it came from. And Sunday morning, at the Churchof the Bloody Mary, someone put it on the jukebox*. It's stuff like this that makes me wonder about reality and my own personal movie. God, I love old New Order. Not a bad soundtrack, even if none of this exists.
*i looked around for danny, but apparently he was astral projecting from Philly if he was responsible.

Monday, March 10, 2008

I need to buy a conch

I've been trying to post various youtube videos for days, but it hates me and they get lost in the tubes. So, I'm gonna cheat and copy an email I just sent as an update.

I highly recommend the link.

"Hey kids -

Most of you know that I now have a full time sub job until the end of the year. In a Kindergarten. With 20 boys and 10 girls. If you want to know what that looks like, check out :43 here.

I hope you can forgive me if I'm slightly neglectful or flakey. I love you all and will be at whatever events I can possibly muster energy. It's tiring staying one step ahead.

I hope you all are well and excited for Spring! drop me a line."

Sunday, February 24, 2008


A long time ago, I said "fuck hope". I'm feeling better than that these days, mostly. Thanks T2 for putting this song on a CD a long time ago, and for the Academy for actually rewarding talent tonight. And for these two just being the cutest ever.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Welcome to my livejournal post

I'm watching Sixteen Candles and realizing that at 35, John Hughes still makes me sad. I didn't expect life to ever be like one of his films, but it just makes me pissed off that I spent my formative years and many more after just wanting to be dead. Fucking brain chemistry. At least I could have been aspiring to find a Jack Ryan. Or a Long Duck Dong.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

10 rules for life

I'm pretty sure I originally saw this on boingboing. and they are written by a (former) nun at a college in CA. But, they are stuck in my head. and I plan to post them in my first classroom.

1. Find a place you trust and then try trusting it for a while.
2. General duties of a student: pull everything out of your teacher, pull
everything out of your fellow students.
3. General duties of a teacher: pull everything out of your students.
4. Consider everything an experiment.
5. Be self-disciplined. This means finding someone wise or smart and choosing to
follow them. To be disciplined is to follow in a good way. To be
self-disciplined is to follow in a better way.
6. Nothing is a mistake. There is no win and no fail. There is only make.
7. The only rule is work. If you work it will lead to something. It’s the people
who do all of the work all the time who eventually catch on to things.
8. Don’t try to create and analyze at the same time. They’re different processes.
9. Be happy whenever you can manage it. Enjoy yourself. It’s lighter than you
10. “We’re breaking all of the rules. Even our own rules. And how do we do that? By
leaving plenty of room for X quantities.” - John Cage.

Helpful hints: Always be around. Come or go to everything always. Go to classes. Read anything you can get your hands on. Look at movies carefully often. Save everything, it might come in handy later.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Can you dig it?

So, I couldn't find this on youtube, so you just have to follow the link for the Warriors inspired commercial for MTV's "America's Best Dance Crew". Shaun, Greg & I watched the audition today. I'm torn between the Jabbawockeez crew whom I've loved for a while and the Sk8 crew, who pretty much provided the only real competition to Jabbawockeez. I'm also torn that I'll be watching a reality show.

Dear Hollywood, (Pt 2)

Thanks for nothing! From now on, you should take your cue from Canada, because "How She Move" was fucking awesome!!!!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Dear Hollywood,

Please? You owe me. And although the Jabbawockeez crew appears in Step Up 2 (electric boogaloo), this one seems a little more authentic. Who knew I'd be missing Omarion?

I'm glad he's safe.

(yes, this post has a million links. I usually don't click on links in posts. but you totally should. I tried to make them worthwhile. at least to me.)

Friday, January 25, 2008

Place in Hell already reserved

I think the death of Heath Ledger is a tragedy. So, I do feel bad about my reaction when I read this article claiming that he may have accidentally overdosed. Seriously? I took over 150 pills and still wake up every morning. He mixes some xanax, ambien and benadryl and dies? It's like hearing about those annoying people who drop 40lbs just by walking.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I'm here. It just boggles my mind.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

My boyfriend pt. 3

Ended this one a bit differently than normal.

My boyfriend pt. 2

The piece that made me love him

My boyfriend

I first witnessed the genius of Saul Williams in 1998(?) watching a 6 part series on PBS entitled "I'll Make Me a World". He had just won the the Nuyorican Poets Grand Slam Champion in 1996. I've sought him out ever since. I've seen him a handful of times. Was too shy to do more than shake his hand when introduced. His newest album was produced by Trent Reznor, which seems both odd and perfect. I love this cover. I'm not smart enough to know how to link multiple videos, so others will follow.

Friday, January 18, 2008

hitting harder than stalagtites

My friends that have DVR and an unhealthy Justin Timberlake obsession introduced me to the funniest SNL in years. It used to exist on youtube, but god forbid we spread the word. So, I can only offer the transcript to explain the jo, jessica reference.

Personally, I was stuck for a theme for this year. But, I realized early on that I was having epiphanies about some major issues. In order to grab the rhyme, I thought of the fake word "epiphinate" in 2008, with the idea of the equally atrocious verbifying on the word conversation to "conversate". I was floating it by Adam by saying, "first I conversate, then I ephphinate!". He pointed out that I said it in the same voice as "You gotta recognize your sedimentary rock formations." and I lost my shit.

Here's the SNL transcript...only funny if you have the visual (I'm sorry). As for the epiphinating...I wish I would get bombarded by sedimentary rock formations or be chased by cave creatures, because I've finally faced some hard facts.

Oh, and I also appear 7th on the google search for "yo, jo jessica". odd.


06i: Justin Timberlake


Keisha.....Kristen Wiig
Trey-J.....Justin Timberlake
Jo-Jessica.....Maya Rudolph
Girlie-t......Amy Poehler
Flip Flop.....Jason Sudeikis
K Smoove.....Kenan Thompson
Cave creature.....Seth Meyers
Cave creature.....Bill Hader

[ TV Show theme song begins with credits for each character ]

Trey-J: Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

All [ rapping ]: We're the Hip Hop Kids and we're on the way. We're going to help you dance your troubles away. We study hard and stay in school. Go on adventures, it's always cool. We the Hip Hop Kids.

Jo-Jessica: Check it!

Trey-J: Before you wreck it.

[ display of episode number and title screen ]

Announcer: Episode 42: Yo, Yo, Yo! How we gonna get outta this mine shaft, yo!

[ Keisha, Jo-Jessica, and Trey-J are at front of stage with Flip Flop and Girlie-t enter from the back of stage ]

Trey-J: Ok, team, what's the repooort.

Girlie-t: Yo, these shafts are straight closed up.

Flip Flop: Word, we gonna run outta oxygen soon, yo.

Jo-Jessica: Yo, why'd we take a shortcut through a mineshaft in the first place?

[ Trey-J blows whistle ]

Trey-J: Negativity ain't helpin', Jo-Jessica. We need to get to Douglas High School and do our inspiration Hip-Hop dance or those kids'll start using *druuugs*!

Keisha: Yo, we need to think up an idea-uh.

Trey-J: Well, I only know one way to solve a problem.

Girlie-t: Dance it out.

Trey-J: Tru-dat. K Smoove, drop a beat!

[ K Smoove begins playing music ]

Trey-J [ rapping ]: Yo, yo. We gotta think, yo. We gotta think about a problem and a solution. I don't know if we..

[ cave begins to rumble and Keisha is hit on the head with a rock and falls down ]

Various: Oh no! Oh no!

Jo-Jessica: Yo, that rock hit Keisha on the head, yo. Then that stalagmite fell on her.

Girlie-t: That's a stalagtite, Jo-Jessica. You gotta reckonize your sedimentary rock formations!

Jo-Jessica: Yo, who you calling a bitch, bitch?!

Girlie-t: I never said the word bitch, bitch!

[ Trey-J blows whistle ]

Trey-J: Yo! Twenty second TO. Keisha looks hurt bad, so we need to speed up our exit scratedgy. Let's think.

Flip Flop: Yo, I think better when I'm busting a move, yo.

Trey-J: What!? K Smoove! Show us where out beat's at!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I'm behind

I have yet to type up the story to this year's 2008 slogan:

Yo, Jo Jessica, you gotta epiphinate* in 2008.

but, epiphinating (sic) is all I've been doing in the past 8 days.

and trying to deal with some of it. i lied when i said that orange was totally gone from these pages. we had a long conversation tonight that finally separated us. and i said goodbye for good.

i'm ok. and i found this, written a year ago which i should have remembered.

"I’m waiting at the deciding intersection. The whole phone conversation comes flooding back. It was the time I thought I was letting you go, but you turned left instead of right. I was on my couch and you were driving and you stopped at the light. The dead end intersection needed an immediate decision. Even when you came in, I didn’t realize you were choosing me. Then you said, I had to pick a direction. I didn’t mean to surprise you. Let’s go to bed. I’ve thought about that night several times since, especially when later, you didn’t turn left. But waiting there, staring at the red, I realized so much about you and I. Maybe one day, I can verbalize that."

*epiphinate is not a word. i know this. but the google searches for it are hilarious.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Criminal Mind

I have a love of police TV dramas. I always have. They all used to blend together for Keely, who was often asking "is this Homicide or Law and Order?" It really blew her mind when they had a cross over episode.

I'm super excited that The Wire starts tonight. I have to find me some fancy cable for the next 10 weeks.

The Wire is one of the few well written shows out there. I think Criminal Minds is another. Although I think I may need to stop watching this show about profiling serial killers. I base this on the fact that while driving by the corner where the illegal day laborers make themselves available for anyone who drives by, I thought "if I were a serial killer, I so would drive my creepy white van here, tell them I had a construction project and pick up my prey."

I need to go back to therapy.

Friday, January 04, 2008

I wanted to believe

It's funny the days you wake up and realize you have been an idiot. Even worse is when someone you consider more of a fuck up than you puts it into perspective.

I know that I am usually blabbing away on here, whether you wanted to hear it or not. But, I'm actually embarrassed and ashamed at my behavior for one, stupidity for two.

Suffice to say, the color Orange won't be making the blog pages anymore. I feel as stupid as the day that I realized the Walt Whitman bridge was named for the poet, Walt Whitman.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I miss you

I've been listening to this alot lately. Thanks to all the East Coast peeps that came left coast to celebrate NYE. January 12th marks 6 years out here. Wow!