Friday, January 18, 2008

hitting harder than stalagtites

My friends that have DVR and an unhealthy Justin Timberlake obsession introduced me to the funniest SNL in years. It used to exist on youtube, but god forbid we spread the word. So, I can only offer the transcript to explain the jo, jessica reference.

Personally, I was stuck for a theme for this year. But, I realized early on that I was having epiphanies about some major issues. In order to grab the rhyme, I thought of the fake word "epiphinate" in 2008, with the idea of the equally atrocious verbifying on the word conversation to "conversate". I was floating it by Adam by saying, "first I conversate, then I ephphinate!". He pointed out that I said it in the same voice as "You gotta recognize your sedimentary rock formations." and I lost my shit.

Here's the SNL transcript...only funny if you have the visual (I'm sorry). As for the epiphinating...I wish I would get bombarded by sedimentary rock formations or be chased by cave creatures, because I've finally faced some hard facts.

Oh, and I also appear 7th on the google search for "yo, jo jessica". odd.


06i: Justin Timberlake


Keisha.....Kristen Wiig
Trey-J.....Justin Timberlake
Jo-Jessica.....Maya Rudolph
Girlie-t......Amy Poehler
Flip Flop.....Jason Sudeikis
K Smoove.....Kenan Thompson
Cave creature.....Seth Meyers
Cave creature.....Bill Hader

[ TV Show theme song begins with credits for each character ]

Trey-J: Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

All [ rapping ]: We're the Hip Hop Kids and we're on the way. We're going to help you dance your troubles away. We study hard and stay in school. Go on adventures, it's always cool. We the Hip Hop Kids.

Jo-Jessica: Check it!

Trey-J: Before you wreck it.

[ display of episode number and title screen ]

Announcer: Episode 42: Yo, Yo, Yo! How we gonna get outta this mine shaft, yo!

[ Keisha, Jo-Jessica, and Trey-J are at front of stage with Flip Flop and Girlie-t enter from the back of stage ]

Trey-J: Ok, team, what's the repooort.

Girlie-t: Yo, these shafts are straight closed up.

Flip Flop: Word, we gonna run outta oxygen soon, yo.

Jo-Jessica: Yo, why'd we take a shortcut through a mineshaft in the first place?

[ Trey-J blows whistle ]

Trey-J: Negativity ain't helpin', Jo-Jessica. We need to get to Douglas High School and do our inspiration Hip-Hop dance or those kids'll start using *druuugs*!

Keisha: Yo, we need to think up an idea-uh.

Trey-J: Well, I only know one way to solve a problem.

Girlie-t: Dance it out.

Trey-J: Tru-dat. K Smoove, drop a beat!

[ K Smoove begins playing music ]

Trey-J [ rapping ]: Yo, yo. We gotta think, yo. We gotta think about a problem and a solution. I don't know if we..

[ cave begins to rumble and Keisha is hit on the head with a rock and falls down ]

Various: Oh no! Oh no!

Jo-Jessica: Yo, that rock hit Keisha on the head, yo. Then that stalagmite fell on her.

Girlie-t: That's a stalagtite, Jo-Jessica. You gotta reckonize your sedimentary rock formations!

Jo-Jessica: Yo, who you calling a bitch, bitch?!

Girlie-t: I never said the word bitch, bitch!

[ Trey-J blows whistle ]

Trey-J: Yo! Twenty second TO. Keisha looks hurt bad, so we need to speed up our exit scratedgy. Let's think.

Flip Flop: Yo, I think better when I'm busting a move, yo.

Trey-J: What!? K Smoove! Show us where out beat's at!

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