7 years ago, I had my last severe break down. And I survived it. Mostly, I survived because 7 years ago today, another friend did not. He opted out. And we were all left behind, dealing with our demons. The night of the wake, we got drunk. Pop Pop cornered me, tears in his eyes, and yelled at me. He told me that we couldn't go through this again, that I wasn't allowed to cause this kind of pain. The week after the funeral, I took off across the country, trying to run away from my head. I ended up back in Philly, locked in own suicidal thoughts. But, I had to figure out how to live. Because, for the first time ever, I truly knew what it would do to others. And I decided that my misery was nothing compared to causing it to others who simply loved me.
I fought and I won.
I think about him alot, because I owe him my life. And I feel so sad that I could not return the favor. I hope he found the peace he needed.