A few years ago, I dated someone briefly between tragically normal Dan and Miguel. Much like the situation in the previous post, I wanted it to work more than I knew it would. I just dreaded having the conversation. I am so often on the other side of the fence, I sometimes think I'd rather drag something out until they break up with me. I don't do confrontation well. But, I bit the bullet after days of anxiety We made plans to have drinks and he came to pick me up.
Me: So, I don't think I want to do this.
J: Are you sure?
Me: Have I slept with you yet? Even though we've been out more than once.
J: No. I see your point. (pause) OK.
Me: Can we go get drunk now?
J: Sure, I'll drive. But you don't get the seat warmer turned on. We have to differentiate this somehow.
Me: Fair enough.
And it pretty much went the same with the boy from below. I belabored making the call for days. But, I did and 10 minutes later we were making plans to go see a movie next week. I know that there are some people who think I am just running away from commitment and happiness, but I really know I did the right thing. I don't think you can talk or rationalize yourself into something that isn't entirely there. Sometimes, a strong friendship can be all there is. He and I both deserve the whole awesome.