Saturday, December 16, 2006

Can atheists have guardian angels?

I have an Uzbek Guardian Angel. It’s super bizarre. On New Year’s Eve 2003/2004, I hooked up with a cute boy from Uzbekistan, who looked like our friend Chase. Some may argue I made out with him because I had a secret crush on Chase. I argue Maker’s Mark. Anyway, I was in NY for the weekend, we hung out, I came back to Portland. The UGA and I chatted on email for a few months and then trailed off. I mean, seriously, even I can’t get too entangled in a 48 hour “relationship”. Then, the summer of 2005 hit and Miguel broke my heart. The story of Kwame arriving on my doorstep that fateful summer can be read here. But, in addition to that, the UGA sent me an email out of the blue. A year and a half since we last wrote. We replied back and forth everyday until I was finally able to come out of my black space and recover some sparkle. Then *poof*! He stopped emailing. This past Spring, when Orange and I ended, the UGA appeared in my inbox again. We chatted for a few weeks, made plans to see each other in NY, I wasn’t able to and we just fell out of touch again.

I’ve been in a bad head space lately. No one particular reason. Just struggling a bit. And a week or two ago, I get this in my inbox:

Happy upcoming holidays!
Where in the world are you nowadays?
Uzbek Guardian Angel

Hey UGA! You always show up at the right time! Do you really exist? Or are you another figment of my fractured reality? I’m still in Portland. Finishing school and super broke. Sorry I missed you last time I was in NYC, but you know how it goes. What’s up with you?

Dear Sir, Madam, or Machine, I am on vacation in St. Kitts until the 29th of December.

I now see your evil only emailed me so that I would get your automated "gone to the islands, sucka!" message. nice. thanks.

Man, I e-mailed you weeks ago, when I would've commiserated with uneventful sucky life! Now I decided to take matters in my own hands.
Anyway, I'll have a more full response when I get back. Enjoy portland, sucka :)

I didn't say he said nice things to me...

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