Yes, I want a cookie

I've been called to explain lately what I'm doing to clear this brain cloud of late. And today, I realized I'm missing the simple answer. Rather than feeling inadequate because I've only been to the gym 4 times in the past two weeks, or because I haven't gotten to try accupuncture, I need to just say this: I'm getting up every day. I'm getting dressed every day. Most days I shower. I'm going to work when it is expected of me. I usually leave the house at least once. I still smile once or twice a day. Seems simple, right? stupid even to brag about*. But 8 years ago, this wasn't the case. The war in my brain would have stopped everything. I would have dropped out of grad school, curled up, and froze. Or I would've decide to not take sub jobs and lie about it. But no, even though I am only doing what most people manage to accomplish with the same thought they give to breathing, I realize it is a huge accomplishment for me. And I'm winning the war. That's what I'm doing to help myself.

*yes, Chris Rock might find this cause for derision. Fuck it.
"You know the worst thing about niggas? Niggas always want some credit for some shit they supposed to do. For some shit they just supposed to do: A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just does. A nigga will say some shit like, "I take care of my kids."

You're supposed to, you dumb mothafucka. What are you talkin' about? What are you braggin' about? What kind of ignorant shit is that?

"I ain't never been to jail."
What do you want, a cookie?
You're not supposed to go to jail you low expectation having mothafucka."

Surface

I've been posting lots of amazing links lately, but not really offering any content. It's a little dark and scary to go into my brain these days. so, please enjoy the videos. and hopefully soon, I can resume my regularly scheduled insanity.

Hells Yeah!

This is old, and possibly already posted on this blog. But, damn! I love these boys! I feel justified in watching a reality show because they kicked ass!

2 years

to the day. I've been posting my random bullshit here for that long. And yet, it seems like worlds ago. I miss lots of things. But that's a longer post and I'm just looking for a datestamp.

you know, like in Spongebob

Happy Patrick's Day everybody. Or Miss Patrick's Day. Depending on your 5 year old.

A Wish for a Friend
Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life

I now teach kindergarten

it looks a lot like this.

I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

but I'm hoping someone will tell me. Maybe the universe is. I had this song in my head on Saturday. Not sure where it came from. And Sunday morning, at the Churchof the Bloody Mary, someone put it on the jukebox*. It's stuff like this that makes me wonder about reality and my own personal movie. God, I love old New Order. Not a bad soundtrack, even if none of this exists.
*i looked around for danny, but apparently he was astral projecting from Philly if he was responsible.

I need to buy a conch

I've been trying to post various youtube videos for days, but it hates me and they get lost in the tubes. So, I'm gonna cheat and copy an email I just sent as an update.

I highly recommend the link.

"Hey kids -

Most of you know that I now have a full time sub job until the end of the year. In a Kindergarten. With 20 boys and 10 girls. If you want to know what that looks like, check out :43 here.

I hope you can forgive me if I'm slightly neglectful or flakey. I love you all and will be at whatever events I can possibly muster energy. It's tiring staying one step ahead.

I hope you all are well and excited for Spring! drop me a line."